OVERTHOUGHT RANT #2

 

One of the hardest things life offers is challenges, when you need to step out of your comfort zone. The first time is the most gruesome, letting the branch you're hanging from go and taking the leap. It's not easy, to be in a situation where nothing is familiar and when you have no choice but to push yourself to your extreme limits and beyond. When you're used to sleeping on your mattress for years, it gets uncomfortable to sleep on a new one, to get used to it. Similarly when you're used to being in your shell, used to getting everything by putting minimal effort, abruptly when your surroundings change and you feel isolated, the real adversities begin. Keep hope that you'd get better and that you'd be able to handle it. When life gives you lemons, squirt it in the eye.

Even harder is when in a situation or a problem, you can't find anyone to blame. Despite how many inspirational quotes we preach or sad and #relatable pins we see on Pinterest, we aren't that much of saints after all. Being human, it is our defense mechanism to find fault in others or find someone to blame for all the rocks on our road. But when things get so harsh that you can't be furious at anyone but yourself, that's when the real challenge sinks in. Fighting yourself, blaming yourself, living in that guilt or the feeling of regret is one of the hardest things ever. For the people who are so sure of themselves, who have always been respected, and who have always had support, it's difficult to admit defeat, to take the brunt when you're wrong.

That time in your life when you're suddenly the negative person, or the loner with radical opinions, it gets hard to hold on to yourself. It sucks to be the person no one likes or everyone disagrees with, it's tough making your point when no one even sees you and it's sometimes tiring to be the person with different Views. That's just how we're build, the most of us, when we see a person with differing opinions, we'd immediately not like them or feel alienated.  We say these days that we're good being alone, but secretly somewhere in our heart, many of us do long for it, the thrill of being appreciated by people, of being valued, and of being involved. Are we wrong in it? No. We aren't wrong for having opinions others don't consider, we aren't subordinate for being on the less popular side.

 There was a time when I'd frown upon people for having contrasting views than mine, when I'd look at them and think about how wrong they are. Today I feel bad, for my past self who was so naive and judgemental. It really did dawn on me how people are being criticized for being different when similar things happened to me. The people who I used to feel weirded out from, I understand now. In life, sometimes it might get late to amend your mistakes, but it's never too late to learn from them and develop your maturity level.  A weak heart like mine needs support, needs that sense of security that there are people who have my back and when I don't get it, I get unsure and feel miserable. My admiration goes out to those who are firm believers in themselves and who trust their voice, no matter what. 'Believe in yourself' is really harder than it looks, but when you get there, it is truly bliss.

When you battle through it, when you make peace with yourself, when you try to find any possible positive side of your mistake, that's when you grow. You feel content and Satisfied, even if you're at fault, you feel good because you overcame an inner devil, you overcame your inner pride and you accepted defeat in a battle you initiated yourself. Fighting demons is courageous, but fighting yourself, when your emotions are all over the place and you can't even trust yourself completely, is a whole another level of bravery.💓